YOU'RE INVITED TO STAY AT HOME WITH STEPHANIE BOOTH SHAFRAN (AND HER CAVALIERS)
As we prepare for a weekend of less-than-traditional Passover and Easter celebrations in this season of shelter-at-home, there are noticeably fewer place settings at my table than ever before. No one’s invited, save the family “dogs” (a pejorative, according to my Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, by the way). During this time of social distancing, it’s hard to know when we will again open our homes to friends and loved ones. What’s a gracious hostess to do?
There could be no one better to advise than Stephanie Booth Shafran, the author of a beautiful, newly-released book aptly titled “You’re Invited.” I recently had the pleasure of ringing up Stephanie, an entertaining expert extraordinaire and fellow Cavalier King Charles Spaniel devotee, for some counsel on the matter. In addition to Stephanie’s words of wisdom that follow, her delightful book has been a source of joy and inspiration — as well as a lovely addition to my coffee table — during a time of social isolation.
While our conversation covers the concerns of the day (how could it not?), one of the silver linings of this season, Stephanie notes, is the chance to enjoy quality time with some of our most loyal friends. Stephanie’s Cavaliers feature prominently throughout the exquisitely-appointed pages of her book, and she graciously shared a few special behind-the-scenes snaps of her Cavaliers living their best lives—quarantine is for the dogs!
And while no one may be invited to share our tables this weekend, you’re invited… stay at home with Stephanie, and look ahead to the days of soirees once again!
I love that you say that parties aren’t about perfection — they’re about joy. Does this apply as much to living with pets?
Pets bring a tremendous amount of joy to a home, as they love you unconditionally and they always greet with you barks, a wiggle and a tail wag. Who else in your life is always that excited to see you? They create life in a house, especially when the kids are gone.
What is it that you enjoy so much about Cavaliers? How did you come to fall in love with the breed?
I fell in love with the Cavalier breed when we got our first, Teddy, 13 years ago. I researched Cavaliers and learned that they are wonderful and loving around both adults and children. This was really important to me with a house full of kids! After owning one, I fell madly in love with the breed! Now we have two more in addition to Teddy. Oliver is almost six years old and was a birthday surprise from my husband, Steve, after I fell off my horse and fractured my back—I was in a brace for three months that summer. Oliver definitely cheered me up, and we have been attached ever since! He is incredibly smart, loyal, dedicated, and he loves hiking with me in SV during the summer. Finally, Emma will be three years old this summer, and we got her to keep Oliver company as Teddy was getting older.
How were the dogs involved in the creation of your beautiful book?
The dogs are a BIG part of our life, so of course, they were involved in the book. During Christmas, I do a separate tree and gifts with a Cavalier theme, so I was able to share that with the readers in my holiday chapter. They are also a part of the Pucci Pool party, as they always mix and mingle with the guests. At that party, they loved to play with the big pool balls and the bocci balls.
We are all spending a lot of time at home with our pets (and our families) now… What tips or tricks do you have for co-existing harmoniously?
These little dogs know how to make a house a home, and have taught me to be patient, loving, and kind. Now our pets have made our time at home happier and given me more purpose in these slower days. I get to meet their needs daily by feeding them and walking them. They are also getting more baths than ever! (amen to that!)
There are so many heavy concerns at this time of social distancing, but physical isolation can be especially felt by those who are passionate about entertaining and about the people they care about. What advice do you have for us during this time when entertaining is limited to our families and pets?
I think this is an incredibly hard time for all, as people are worried about their health, jobs, finances and the world at large. I think this time is requiring us to dig deeper and stay strong. My advice about entertaining when it is limited to family and pets: change the scenery. I am mixing up the locations of our dinners as well as using different linens, china and crystal. I have the time now to make family dinners special and to really be thoughtful about using everything I own for tabletop. Don’t get stuck in the same routine or aesthetic—have dinners outside, in the dining room, in the kitchen, library etc.
And what about canine etiquette when we can finally host again? (Great manners have gone to the dogs around here!)
Remember than no guest will love you dog as much as you do, so make sure your guest has some space and he/she can request the dog be around, but don’t force it. I like to make sure the dog is clean, and do not have them jumping on furniture or begging for food. There is a wonderful saying: remember that your dog will never be as enchanting to others as he is to you!
What are you looking forward to next that we can share in anticipating?
I am looking forward to entertaining more than ever! I think moving forward that our time with our friends will feel more special than ever! I already have fun ideas for some summer entertaining and I am starting to plan now. I am going to do smaller groups, as I think that will make everyone more comfortable.
I am also super excited to go on book tour in fall, as my spring tour was postponed. I am so looking forward to meeting new people and making new friends!
